Conceal, Don't Feel
by Asynca
Summary: Elsa has a painful secret, and Anna is cheerful and oblivious. Hints at F/F.


**Conceal, Don't Feel**

* * *

By Asynca

This is basically just a screen-test to see if I can hear their voices enough to write for them.

* * *

She knows. I'm sure she knows. How could she _not _know_?_ Oh, God…

Anna swung around my stencilled doorframe. "Hi!" she said brightly. She obviously wanted something, she _always _wanted something when she came wandering cryptically into my bedroom. She didn't ask for it straight away though, she just smiled coyly at me. "You know," she began, "you actually have a _whole_ _castle_ back there. You don't need to hide out in your room anymore. Everyone loves you!"

I grimaced; _everyone?_ "I spent ten years in here," I reminded her. "It just feels…"

"—Lonely? Isolated? _Boring—?"_

"No," I said quietly. "I was going for 'safe'."

She did the circuit of my room, looking at all my pictures, touching my childhood toys, and making faces in my mirror. "Well, in case you didn't realise, _you_ were kind of the person everyone was hiding from. And it's not like you can really hide from yourself in here, can you?"

Well, she had a point there. "It's quiet up here," I said, walking over to the window. "I can think." I'd opened it earlier, and there was a beautiful sunset over the horizon. Thin clouds drifted through it, turning bright oranges and pinks and throwing their reflection on the sea. Under the castle, stall-holders were shouting their wares while their children chased hoops in the square. I was the queen of a prosperous, happy kingdom; it was what my parents had always wanted for me. I was the _luckiest_ girl on earth.

I sighed, looking away from the beautiful cityscape. As if I hadn't already disappointed them with this whole snow queen thing, I had to bring… No, I couldn't even _think_ it. I couldn't do that to Anna. She was so beautiful and so innocent and so perfect and just so _very_ off-limits in _every_ possible way to—

"Elsa."

I glanced back over my shoulder at her.

"You're doing that thing where you freeze the whole floor again."

"Oh," I said, looking down at the icy floor. I winced. "Sorry."

"It's okay!" she said, taking a careful step onto it and then sliding awkwardly over to me… and then past me, and towards the window. I grabbed her arms, just to make sure she didn't actually drift right out of it. "Anyway, Sven and I were wondering if we could borrow you for Kristoff's birthday."

"Sven wondered that?" I asked flatly.

She looked _completely_ serious. "Yes," she said, as if it was the most ordinary thing to be expressing the considered opinion of a reindeer. "I just thought it would be really great if we could, you know, do up the ballroom like one of the_ huge_ ice lakes Kristoff used to cut up when he was little. Did you know he's _never_ had a surprise party before?"

"How is it a surprise if you asked—_Oh_," I said when she looked at me like I was being silly.

"Sven told me," she said, and then looked really excited as she gripped my forearms in hers and slid sideways. "So!" she said. "It's okay, right? You'll do it for us?" She gave me big blue puppy-dog eyes. "For _me?_"

Well, she had me there. But at least I was reasonably certain that she had _no_ idea why. I rolled my eyes at her and smiled warmly.

"Yes!" she shrieked, jumping up and down and… slipping underneath me on the ice. She ended up under the bed. Poking her red hair out from underneath the embroidered frilling, she asked, "Can we have ice-cream, too? And maybe, like, really big sculptures?"

I just kept smiling. She could have _whatever_ she wanted, even if it was for him.

"Ohmygod!" she said, and then made a very valiant attempt to crawl across the ice towards me. "You are the _best sister ever! _I'd give you a big ginormous hug right now, but…" She looked down at her reflection in the ice, and then ended up with her cheek against it.

I walked easily across it to her and helped her up. She threw her arms immediately around my shoulders. She was just so _warm_, and she smelt like cinnamon. I didn't let her go straight away. "Oh… okay!" she said, giggling when I wouldn't release her, putting her head back against my shoulder.

When I did let her go, I held her at arms' length for a few seconds, just enjoying being able to look at her. And the way she looked at me, it just was so easy to forget who we were. Who _I_ was.

Her smile had morphed into a pained grimance, and when I looked down her arms, I saw I had frozen her sleeves. I snatched my arms away. "Sorry," I said shortly. "Sometimes I don't concentrate."

She grinned at me. "Clearly you're not loving enough," she said. "We've got to set you up with someone. I mean, not that I'm implying there _has_ to be a king, it's not the 1500s anymore, right? But maybe you'd enjoy some company." She looked excited again. "I have an idea! Maybe at Kristoff's surprise party we could find someone for you! Actually, that's perfect!"

I took a deep breath and released it in a flurry of snowflakes. "That's a nice thought," I said. "But I'd prefer if you didn't."

I helped her back to the doorway. She clung to it with her feet slipping. "You can't be a total ice queen forever!" she told me, and then laughed at her pun as she slid out. "_Yes_! I've been just _waiting_ for a chance to use that one!"

I closed the door behind her and leaned against it.

Well, that settled that: she didn't know. At all.

I could feel the wood freeze solid behind me as I let my eyes fall shut. Oh, Anna. If only you _did_ know.


End file.
